What Should I Choose?

# What Should I Choose? Making choices is an unavoidable part of life—from the mundane to the life-changing. But have you ever felt the overwhelm that arises when you’re faced with a sea of options? The question “What should I choose?” has rarely been more relevant than in our era, where choices are often held up as the very definition of freedom, independence, and quality of life. Yet, experience and research show that this paradigm comes with a dark side. We live in a society where the power of choice has almost become a duty. American psychologist Barry Schwartz put words to this paradox in his book "The Paradox of Choice": The more options we have, the less satisfied we become with what we choose—and with ourselves. In this article, I will explore this phenomenon, how it appears in our daily lives, the psychological mechanisms driving our choices, and—importantly—how you can relate to modern freedom of choice. ## The Glittering Surface of Freedom of Choice From the moment we open our eyes in the morning, choices flood in: What should I wear? Drink black coffee or try the iced coffee from the new café? Commute by car, bike, or maybe walk? Which TV series should I follow? It’s easy to overlook how many big and small decisions our brains have to process in a single day. This daily decision drumbeat is no accident. Our culture has placed freedom of choice on a pedestal and convinced us that more freedom almost automatically leads to more happiness. Behind this lies the assumption of the “rational human”—that with enough information, we can objectively pick what is best for us. Why wouldn’t more options make us happier? ## The Opposite Happens: Less Satisfaction, More Anxiety Schwartz’s research points in the opposite direction. A sense of freedom and agency can quickly tip into stress and doubt. The more options, the greater the pressure to make the optimal choice. A striking example is seen in the American education system, where college students can pick from 120 different courses to create a package of nine. It may sound like an intellectual buffet, but the result is often paralysis and uncertainty. Many end up feeling overwhelmed, unable to prioritize, and some give up before they even begin. This phenomenon isn’t limited to the young and inexperienced; it also affects established adults and even experts in their fields. Often, we blame ourselves when costly choices go wrong. Maybe you signed up for insurance, read complicated documents back to front, and thought you made the right decision. But when you needed the insurance, it didn’t cover your situation. It’s easy then to feel a double disappointment: not only have you experienced the loss or cost, but you’re also left with the blame for making the wrong choice. ## Decision Fatigue: When Your Brain Gives Up A term that often comes up in this context is decision fatigue. The human brain simply isn’t wired to analyze countless variables over long periods. When options explode, we use more and more cognitive energy until our mental resources are depleted. Then we resort to shortcuts, postpone decisions, pick at random—or avoid choosing altogether. Everyday things like picking insurance plans or mobile subscriptions can quickly become marathons of reading, comparison, and doubt. Decision fatigue also affects experts. Studies show that when doctors have to choose medication before surgery, they are more likely to follow guidelines if the choice is between one or two options. Give them three or more, and the incidence of inaction rises—the action freezes in the grip of analysis. Too many options can paralyze even the most skilled among us. ## The Freedom Paradox This paradox cuts through one of the foundational ideas in Western culture: more freedom equals more happiness. Yet boundless freedom can instead become a source of anxiety and dissatisfaction. A key reason, according to Schwartz, is that with greater responsibility for our own choices comes a heavy burden: we’re more likely to blame ourselves when things go wrong. This mechanism opens the door for regret and doubt. When you could choose between just two TV models and the purchase didn’t meet your expectations, you might blame poor quality. With 50 possible models online, there’s only yourself to blame. ## Maximizer and Satisficer: Two Decision Strategies In psychology, there are two distinct approaches to making choices, known as “maximizer” and “satisficer.” The terms originate partly from Herbert Simon’s research on decision-making. A maximizer always seeks the optimal solution. This involves thoroughly reviewing all possibilities. A maximizer will read 25 rainwear reviews before buying, visit countless car dealerships before picking a car, or conclude months of dating before choosing a partner. The goal is perfection—and satisfaction depends on knowing that no stone has been left unturned. A satisficer, on the other hand, looks for what is “good enough.” They set an internal threshold for quality and commit as soon as that’s met, with no need for further comparisons. Surprisingly, research shows that maximizers often make somewhat better objective choices, but are less subjectively satisfied. Satisficers, with lower expectations of perfection, experience more contentment and peace—both with their choices and themselves. ## Psychological Reactions to Poor Choices This brings us to the significance of regret, doubt, and guilt after making choices. Many maximizers become more dissatisfied because they are more prone to doubt or regret as soon as flaws appear. Another phenomenon is the fall of expectations. If you’ve spent a long time ensuring you get “the best,” any deviation from perfection feels disproportionately annoying or disheartening. Expectations become so high that only the optimal feels good enough. This can take a toll on self-esteem. For many, the responsibility for one’s own choice is heavier than the consequence of the choice itself. This is especially clear in our consumer society. Drive out of the car dealer’s lot and break down, and you experience double frustration: not only did you buy the wrong car—you also chose it yourself from among hundreds of options. ## Social and Psychological Consequences of Freedom of Choice In society, this phenomenon plays out in several areas. First, it contributes to increased stress and pace in our lives. We spend vast amounts of time comparing, choosing, regretting, searching for the optimal—not just in material things, but also in relationships, where we live, and career paths. There can arise a fear of missing out (FOMO), and this drive to hunt can create restlessness rather than satisfaction. Second, getting stuck—not choosing at all—can mean missing out on the opportunities that actually exist. Many experience decision avoidance as a short-term relief, but it often evolves into a feeling of stagnation and dissatisfaction over time. A third consequence involves self-understanding and a sense of meaning in life. When the responsibility for happiness and success is individualized and tied to every imaginable choice, the burden of creating meaning falls on the individual. Companies, educational systems, the state, and other social actors offer frameworks and alternatives, but it’s YOU who must navigate. The price is often lingering doubt: “What if I had chosen differently?” ## Strategies for Better Choices—and Higher Quality of Life How then can we approach this paradox without sinking into apathy or constant self-examination? 1. **Set Criteria for ‘Good Enough’:** Accept there’s truth in the satisficer approach. Life is short, your time is valuable—the “almost best” is often more than good enough. 2. **Choose Based on Values:** Ask yourself: What’s important to me, regardless of what others think? When you make choices aligned with your own values, you become less vulnerable to regret and comparison. 3. **Accept Uncertainty:** Every choice means missing out on something else. We never get absolute certainty, and that’s okay. Containing a bit of doubt is the price of freedom. 4. **Reduce Information Overload:** Stop researching before the flood of information paralyzes you. Give yourself deadlines and gather a good-enough basis before deciding. 5. **Let Go of Outcome Focus:** No one can predict the future with certainty. The more present you are in the process—and acknowledge that you did your best at the time—the easier it is to accept the result, whatever it may be. 6. **Be Kind to Yourself:** Avoid blaming yourself for mistakes or accidents. Try to see your choices in light of the premises and information you actually had at the time. ## In Summary: Less Can Be More We’ve learned that freedom of choice is an ideal. But it may pay off to cultivate acceptance for “good enough,” to forgive ourselves for mistakes, and realize that total control and perfection are illusions. True quality of life might lie in our ability to set limits, prioritize strongly, and stand firm in the choices we make—with curiosity, generosity, and the acceptance that life is never fully decided. Barry Schwartz’s book "The Paradox of Choice" provides insight into why society’s freedom-seeking ideals don’t always lead to more satisfaction, and suggests we often gain more by setting boundaries than by living without limits. Being aware of both your own needs and society’s expectations, and developing a realistic and accepting attitude toward the pain of choosing, gives us a freer and lighter mind as we meet life’s many small and big decisions each day. --- **Want to explore this topic in more depth?** This is a topic psychologist Sondre Risholm Liverød explores further in the podcast episode of the same name. You can find the episode as part of the exercises at [BeBalanced.ai](https://bebalanced.ai).