SoMe

# SoMe Social media has, in just a few years, revolutionized the way we communicate, how we access information, and, not least, how we relate to ourselves and others. As a psychologist, I am constantly concerned with how this technology affects us, both on an individual and societal level. Many of us have felt guilty after spending “just a little longer” on our phones. Others worry about how screens affect their children. Let’s dive into what the research says, what we experience in everyday life, and which psychological mechanisms are actually at play. ## Small Steps, Big Impact: 15 Minutes Less Each Day It might seem insignificant to cut down on social media by as little as 15 minutes daily. But a British study surprised with results that show just how much of an impact this can have on our health. Participants who reduced their social media time by just 15 minutes a day experienced: - **15% better immune function** - **50% better sleep quality** - **30% reduction in depressive symptoms** These numbers illustrate that small changes in our digital routines can have significant physical and mental consequences. Interestingly, many participants in the study who cut down eventually reduced their use much more than they had aimed for. This shows that our habits are often driven by autopilot, but that we can actually take control if we become more aware. ## Digital Habits and Brain Plasticity Why is it so difficult to put down the phone, even when we know it's not always good for us? The key lies largely in the brain's plasticity. The brain adapts to how we use it – what we pay attention to shapes us. If you spend 35 hours a week on social media, as many young people do, it leaves lasting marks. Just as 35 hours at the gym will change your body, screen time will shape our brains – for better or worse, depending on balance and content. Social media offers quick rewards, small hits of dopamine, and tends to override our natural ability to be bored or let our thoughts wander. With a constant stream of impressions, we risk losing the valuable breaks where we would otherwise process thoughts and feelings – the small, mentally nourishing gaps we need to grow. ## The Battle for Attention and Passive Flow One of the biggest pitfalls of social media is how it captures and directs our attention. Instead of being active participants in our own lives, many end up in a passive, receiving state where one TikTok video or Instagram story replaces the next. When we read a book, our brain is active: We decode the text, imagine images, and reflect on what we read. With social media, it is dominated by quick, non-committal glimpses and impressions. Over time, this can contribute to weakened concentration. We become less skilled at dwelling on our own feelings, less patient, and more prone to boredom. The American psychologist Nicholas Carr writes in his book "The Shallows" about how the internet not only changes what we think about – but also *how* we think. Our ability for deep concentration and reflection can wither if we are continuously exposed to quick and superficial dips into information. ## Reflection – A Threatened Resource? Wise people are not necessarily those who know the most, but those who have spent time understanding themselves and others. Self-understanding is a slow process that requires contemplation and silence. When the screen fills every free moment, we lose the small pauses where we could process a conversation, reflect on the day, connect with our feelings, or just ground ourselves. These intervals are a kind of mental nourishment. Without them, we cannot process impressions or develop emotionally. The result, according to psychological research, is a superficiality in attention and emotional life that also affects our connection to others and ourselves. ## Self-Image at Risk: The Chase for the Facade Another challenge is how social media affects self-image. Much of what is shared happens within a “facade frame,” where the standards for presentation are high. Many – especially young people – feel that love and attention from others becomes conditional; you are liked if you share the right things, look good, create an engaging story, or appear successful. According to American psychologist Jean Twenge, this can lead to an increase in narcissistic tendencies: Identity becomes built around how others respond to us rather than who we actually are. Social media can feel like a kind of “psychological parent” that only gives out likes and approval if we meet certain standards. This creates an environment where vulnerability and genuine life are easily hidden – in favor of a polished exterior. The risk is that we become more concerned with self-presentation than self-recognition, and that vulnerability feels risky instead of being a natural part of life. ## Erosion of Authenticity and Emotional Security Social media provides a space to showcase the best, but often at the expense of what is honest and real. This kind of conditional social reward can undermine both self-esteem and relational security. Over time, we may experience inner unease or inadequacy, not because life is necessarily going badly, but because our basis for comparison is unrealistic. We are not comparing ourselves to other people, but to their edited “highlight reel.” This is reinforced by algorithms, which constantly show us the most popular and seemingly perfect content. ## Children and Youth: A Particularly Vulnerable Group Children and young people are particularly at risk from the negative aspects of social media. At a stage where identity is still developing, young people need secure adult role models, support, and, importantly, space free from constant performance pressure. When they spend several hours a day on platforms where feedback is systematized through likes, comments, and shares, this shapes their self-image and sense of worth far more than most adults realize. It takes guidance, boundaries, and shared reflection to be a good digital role model. We adults must be conscious of our own screen usage, and dare to talk openly about both the joys and pitfalls of the digital everyday. Digital education is about both mastering technology and understanding its impact on emotions, behavior, and self-image. ## On Balance and Awareness We should not disparage everything about social media and new technology. Digitalization has undoubtedly brought fantastic opportunities for sharing knowledge, social contact, and learning. Many gain a sense of belonging, learning, and support in these channels. The key is balance and awareness. The art is to use technology as a tool, not let it use us. It’s about finding a relationship with the screen that gives us value, without costing us connection with ourselves, those around us, and the depth of life itself. Mindfulness and mental training can be a way in: Exercises that strengthen attentive presence, self-reflection, and the ability to concentrate make us better equipped to choose when and how to use the screen – and when to put it down. ## Conclusion – The Way Forward Social media and smart technology are tools, not the solution to all contact and communication. To safeguard our mental health and relational quality, we need to reclaim control over our attention. Start small – 15 minutes less screen time per day can be the start of a chain reaction leading to major changes. And don’t be afraid to take digital breaks, ask for support from others, or set clear boundaries for children, young people, and yourself. We shape technology, but technology also shapes us. Let’s take that responsibility seriously – for our own sake and for generations to come. --- **Want to explore this topic in depth?** This is a topic psychologist Sondre Risholm Liverød discusses further in a podcast episode by the same name. You can find the episode as part of the practice materials at [BeBalanced.ai](https://bebalanced.ai).