Thinking and Overthinking

# Thinking and Overthinking Humans are equipped with the ability to think – a remarkable trait that enables us to solve complex problems and develop self-awareness. Yet, paradoxically, this ability to think can often become a source of suffering in our lives. What exactly distinguishes a thought from the act of thinking, and why is it so easy to get caught up in our own mental loops? Let’s explore the phenomenon of overthinking and how it impacts both our mental health and quality of life. ## What is a Thought – and What is Thinking? Let’s start by clarifying the terms. A *thought* arises spontaneously in consciousness – much like a mental impulse or idea. Thoughts are, at their core, neutral. We cannot control when they appear; they are a byproduct of the brain’s activity. *Thinking*, on the other hand, is different – it is an active process in which we engage with our thoughts. It’s us choosing to involve ourselves: We evaluate, analyze, ruminate, and spin further on them. This distinction has deep roots in several wisdom traditions, particularly Buddhism and certain forms of Hinduism. These traditions emphasize that thoughts, in themselves, hold no power over us – it’s the way we latch onto them, interpret them, and let them define us that often gives rise to suffering. In my psychological practice, I’ve seen countless examples of this: Many people seek therapy because they’re stuck in a kind of “mental prison,” trapped in worries, self-critical interpretations, or an endless stream of analysis. ## Thinking Traps That Shape Our Reality Thoughts feel true. They often come across as objective representations of reality. That’s why we identify so strongly with them. We prefer to believe that what we think is the truth – or at least a reasonable version of reality. The problem is that our brain often plays tricks on us. In cognitive psychology, we speak of *thinking traps* – systematic ways we misinterpret or exaggerate situations. For instance, we might mistakenly believe we are less liked than we really are (the so-called “liking gap”), or we might assume that one negative event means everything else will go wrong. When we fully identify with our thoughts, we open the door to unnecessary suffering: We worry about things that may never happen, and we construct disaster scenarios based on uncertain assumptions. ## Buddhist Philosophy: Pain vs. Suffering It is enlightening to borrow insights from Buddhist philosophy, which often differentiates between *pain* and *suffering*. Pain is unavoidable; everyone will experience loss, illness, and failure at some point in life. Suffering, on the other hand, is in many cases something we produce ourselves through the way we think and relate to our experiences. By dreading in advance, worrying about the future, or interpreting events in destructive ways, we prolong pain into persistent suffering. Many Eastern teachers go as far as saying that all (or almost all) suffering has its roots in thinking. This isn’t about moralizing our thoughts, but about becoming aware of how much of life’s burdens are self-inflicted – tied more to overthinking than to external realities. ## From Automatic Thought to Conscious Presence Is the solution, then, to stop thinking? That’s a question that naturally arises. Some spiritual traditions give the impression that the optimal state is to live with an “empty” mind. But the goal is not to become empty or passive. The point is to create a more conscious distance to our thoughts: Not letting them define or overwhelm us, but rather allowing them to pass – like clouds in the sky. Mindfulness and meditation are practical tools in this regard. They teach us to observe our thoughts, instead of immediately engaging with them. We can then discover that thoughts are transient and not absolute truths – they come and go, often without saying anything definitive about ourselves or our situation. ## Is It Possible to Live Without Thinking? Some philosophical branches of Buddhism claim that the less we think, the freer and happier we will become. This quickly becomes a radical and perhaps unrealistic position, at least for those of us living in a Western context with high demands for problem-solving, planning, and reflection. The more realistic (and fruitful) approach is to learn to think *better* – to recognize thinking traps, adjust perspective, and develop a more flexible relationship with our own mental processes. Cognitive behavioral therapy offers many tools for this. Among other things, we learn to challenge negative automatic thoughts, look for alternative interpretations, and not blindly trust our first impulses. Still, even the best mental work can’t keep us from getting lost in our own minds from time to time. That’s why it’s also important to develop skills like acceptance, presence, and openness – learning to let go of the need for total control over everything happening in our heads. ## The "Liking Gap" Thinking Trap and Social Comparison One especially common thinking trap is what we call the “liking gap”: The tendency to underestimate how much others actually like us, compared to how we feel about it ourselves. This phenomenon is well-documented in psychological research and has roots all the way back to childhood. Already early in life, we become acutely attuned to the judgments of the group. As the ability for mentalizing – that is, understanding our own and others’ minds – develops, we also start to interpret others’ signals using both accurate and flawed assumptions. We often pick up on small signs or reactions that we interpret negatively. Things we perceive as rejection are often, in reality, neutral or unintentional events. But our brains interpret them in the light of past experiences and insecurities. The result can be that we withdraw, become silent, or end up in a kind of social shell where we don’t dare to be ourselves – all based on assumptions made by our own thoughts, not objective facts. ## Thought’s Construction of Reality As humans, we have a fascinating ability to construct reality through our internal language – our thoughts. But what does this actually mean? In his book "Thinking, Fast and Slow," Daniel Kahneman points out how the brain quickly falls into shortcuts and fallacies. This often happens automatically and without our awareness. The part of the brain working behind the scenes serves us interpretations that feel right, but don’t always reflect reality. When we combine Kahneman’s insights with Eastern philosophy’s idea of creating distance to thoughts, it becomes clear that psychological freedom is not about replacing “bad” thoughts with “good” ones, but about adopting a conscious and curious attitude to whatever arises in the mind. We can become inquisitive rather than judgmental, and learn not to let any single thought become an indisputable truth. ## How to Find Balance Throughout life, we’ll always need to navigate between spontaneity and reflection. We need to plan, analyze, and learn, but also to know when to let go and allow thoughts to drift by. Mindfulness, innate techniques, and conscious awareness of our thinking processes create space for greater flexibility in how we relate to ourselves and the world. One key is to regularly question our own assumptions: Is this just a thought, or is it a fact? How much weight should I give this mental image? Can I choose to let the thought go, and instead rest in the present moment? ## Final Reflections Thinking is both a gift and a challenge. Becoming aware of the difference between a fleeting thought and an ongoing pattern of thinking – and recognizing our own responsibility for how we relate to what happens inside us – can mean the difference between freedom and self-imposed suffering. As a psychologist, I constantly meet people who have become trapped in their own mental spirals. Often, it’s not about having the “right” or “wrong” thoughts, but about finding a new attitude toward the mind – an attitude grounded in curiosity, acceptance, and presence. Through practice, awareness, and some useful philosophical tools, we can all become more resilient to the power of thought, and find greater calm in the face of daily emotional challenges. Let’s not be slaves to our own minds – but instead, take control over how we relate to whatever arises in our consciousness. --- **Want to dive deeper into this topic?** This is a subject psychologist Sondre Risholm Liverød explores further in a podcast episode of the same name. You’ll find the episode as part of the practice material at [BeBalanced.ai](https://bebalanced.ai).