Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise emotions — your own and other people’s — understand what they are about, and use that understanding when deciding what to do. It is not the same as being pleasant or staying calm; it is about having access to the information emotions carry, including the uncomfortable ones.
Last updated August 2026
It was introduced into the research literature by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer in 1990, and reached a wider audience through Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book. Salovey and Mayer described it as a form of intelligence comparable to other abilities: something measurable, and something that varies between people.
Most models divide it into four parts: perceiving emotions, using them to think with, understanding what they mean and how they connect, and managing them. The order matters — you cannot regulate a feeling you have not noticed, and you cannot understand one you cannot name.
Research suggests parts of it can be trained, particularly recognising and naming emotions. What seems to work is not reading about it but doing it repeatedly: noticing a reaction, describing it precisely, and watching for the pattern over time. The precision is part of the point — "irritated", "disappointed" and "hurt" point at three different situations.
It is not the same as being extroverted, naturally empathetic, or good at reading a room. Nor is it a measure of how well you are doing. Someone can have high emotional intelligence and still struggle — the ability describes access to the information, not how easy life is.
Several instruments exist, but they measure different things and are debated. Some test ability; others ask how you think you function — and the two often give different answers for the same person.
No. Empathy — feeling something of what another person feels — is one part of it. Understanding what the emotion is about, and being able to manage it, are others.
Partly. Traits from the five-factor model, particularly agreeableness and emotional stability, correlate with how people score. But they are not the same thing: personality describes how you typically are, emotional intelligence what you can do.
BeBalanced.ai is built around exactly this exercise: putting words to what is happening, repeatedly, and seeing the pattern over time. The app was developed with clinical psychologists.
BeBalanced.ai is a tool for self-insight and emotional training, not healthcare or treatment. If you need someone to talk to right now, contact your local crisis line. In an emergency, call your national emergency number.