Self-esteem is how you value and accept yourself as a whole – including when you fail. It can be strengthened, but rarely in one go. A good way is regular practice in meeting your own feelings without judging them, and treating yourself as you would treat a friend. BeBalanced.ai is an AI coach developed by Norwegian clinical psychologists that you can use for this. It is not healthcare.
| Self-esteem | Self-confidence | |
|---|---|---|
| It is about | Who you are | What you can do |
| The question it answers | "Am I good enough as I am?" | "Can I manage this?" |
| When you fail | Can stay steady | Often drops there and then |
| Can you have one without the other? | Yes – many confident people have low self-esteem | Yes – and the other way round |
Yes. Research that has followed people for decades shows self-esteem is fairly stable but not fixed: on average it rises from adolescence to midlife, and it can be shaped by what you do and go through. That is why it makes sense to practise.
The psychologist Nathaniel Branden described six practices that strengthen self-esteem over time. The first two are often the easiest place to begin.
Notice your choices, feelings and reactions instead of running on autopilot.
Let yourself feel what you actually feel, including what you would rather push away.
See what is yours to act on, without taking on everything.
Say what you need and where your boundaries are – in a way that respects others too.
Make small, deliberate choices towards what matters to you.
Live by your own values, not just to please others.
The exercise follows the three parts of self-compassion as the psychologist Kristin Neff describes them: kindness to yourself, seeing that others feel the same, and noticing the feeling without being swallowed by it.
After a breakup, a lay-off or a defeat, it is common for self-criticism to get louder. Start by letting the feelings in rather than pushing them away, and be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend. Small, regular exercises – like the one above – often help more than big gestures.
If low self-esteem makes everyday life hard, or goes with lasting low mood or anxiety, talk to your doctor. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, contact your local emergency number or a crisis line. In Norway: 113, or the Mental Helse helpline 116 123.
Tell the coach about the situation where the self-criticism kicked in. It uses your Big Five profile to adapt its questions and tone.
The coach remembers conversations and journal entries from the past month, and can see what keeps returning.
After the conversation you get suggestions based on what you talked about, including exercises on self-compassion.
The studies show associations and patterns of development. They say nothing about the effect of BeBalanced.ai.
Core costs 149 NOK a month and includes the AI coach in chat, the journal, the Big Five test and the full exercise library. Core + Voice costs 249 NOK a month and adds voice, Together mode and My body. Both start with 7 days free, with no commitment.
Self-confidence is the belief that you can manage particular things. Self-esteem is how you value and accept yourself as a whole, including when you fail.
Practise regularly feeling and naming your emotions without judging them, and showing them to others in a way that respects your boundaries. Short self-compassion exercises are a good place to start.
Let the feelings in rather than pushing them away, and treat yourself as you would a friend. If you are in crisis, contact your doctor or local emergency services.
No. An app can be a place to practise and reflect, but assessment and treatment belong with health professionals.
149 NOK a month, or 249 NOK a month with voice, Together mode and My body. Both start with 7 days free.
BeBalanced.ai is a tool for mental training, not healthcare or treatment. If you need someone to talk to now, contact your local emergency services or a crisis line. In Norway: 116 117 (out-of-hours), 116 123 (Mental Helse helpline) or 113 in an emergency.